Inspirational Moment

It is astounding to note that a rosho of Bilam’s ilk was so impressed by the character of the Jewish home that he was inspired to compose a “tefillah” that became an integral part of the daily Jewish prayers.

It is astounding to note that a rosho of Bilam’s ilk was so impressed by the character of the Jewish home that he was inspired to compose a “tefillah” that became an integral part of the daily Jewish prayers.

“Mah tovu ohalecha Yaakov mishkenosecha Yisroel – how noble are your tents, Yaakov, your dwelling places Yisroel.” Rashi states there that Bilam observed that the openings of their abodes did not face each other. The Tzemach Dovid explains that this defines the modesty that enveloped Bnai Yisroel. Not only did others not look into their homes, but they could not see into their neighbors’ homes. There was an aura of privacy and insularity which allowed them to remain protected and unaffected by their surrounding environment.

HaGaon HoRav Avigdor Miller, in fact, characterized this as a unique feature of each and every Jewish home and family that engenders a Kiddush Hashem and keeps our nation intact.

Until recent years our community has generally remained protected from the ills of modern society. The shtetl was insular; we did not have many of the problems that our “neighbors” had. However, today, we are much less secluded and isolated. Outside influences have more successfully and insidiously made their inroads among us.

One malady that has been increasingly affecting an alarming number of families is eating disorders. An eating disorder is a complex compulsion to eat, or not eat, in a way which negatively affects one’s physical and mental health. This disorder is often promoted by social environmental, biological factors, or triggered by trauma. As a result, the mere wish or desire to stamp out this illness does not suffice.

Eating disorders have always been around, but today the numbers that are affected and the ages of those concerned is unprecedented. Children as young as first and second graders have become casualties of this disease, and I receive calls on a regular basis from around the world asking for advice on how to deal with a family member who is anorexic or bulimic. Some elementary schools have made this topic part of their health curriculum, and include a specific book which I have reviewed to make it user-friendly for the Jewish community.

The illness of eating disorders cuts across all lines and is not contained to any one segment of the population. I have been consulted by individuals from all backgrounds, from the most devoutly religious to the unaffiliated Jew. Statistics indicate that 80% of eating disorders that are detected early are treated effectively. Fifty percent of the cases are so completely cured that food and eating cease to be an issue for the individual.

Unfortunately, there is still a great amount of shame and secrecy associated with this problem. This was clearly illustrated shortly after my book on eating disorders, Starving to Live, was released in the bookstores, A clerk, in one of the local bookstores which remained open late two evenings a week, noticed a man lingering near the book display which was set up in front of the store. As closing time approached, the man had still not picked up anything to purchase, and the clerk became suspicious. He was just about to summon someone for assistance, when the man surreptitiously picked up a copy of the book and hurried over to the register to pay for it. As he stood there, he kept glancing around the store to make sure that nobody had noticed him. The clerk was amazed and could not understand what shame there was in buying this book.

Let me give you an example of the severity and the scope of this problem. Over this Pesach holiday, I received a frantic call from a young couple who pleaded for an appointment to meet with me concerning a matter of life and death. My schedule was tight, but the desperation in the caller’s voice was overwhelming.

I met with the couple a few hours later that day. The wife tearfully explained that she had been battling anorexia for a while, but now she was pregnant. She had thought that with the creation of a new life within her she would more easily be able to take control of her illness and ultimately defeat it. However, to the contrary, she was finding it even more difficult to deal with her anorexia. It had reached the point where the doctor was now very concerned about the health of the helpless unborn child that she was carrying.

The implications of her revelation were frightening, to say the least, and I shuddered to contemplate what would have happened had they not taken the initiative to come in. I immediately recommended her entering a facility that would provide her with proper and effective treatment. Although it took me a while to convince the couple that this step was mandatory, they finally acquiesced. However, their insurance would not cover the expenses of this care. How would she be able to get the help she so desperately needed? I had no choice but to establish a fund and raise the money for her treatment.

Baruch Hashem, I am happy to report that after weeks of hard work and proper medical attention the young mother-to-be was slowly making progress on the road back to good health.

In response to the growing number of people who have been touched by eating disorders, a new website has been launched to address a broad range of issues, appropriate for any and all of those who are affected directly, or indirectly, by this scourge. All of our Jewish Press readers are invited to log on to starvingtolive.org which has been designed to meet the needs of the community in different areas pertaining to eating disorders that heretofore have not been tackled.