Inspirational Moment

We begin the seder with the “kadesh” and then proceed to “urechatz”. Our sages ask: Why do we first sanctify ourselves with “kadesh” and only afterwards purify ourselves with the “washing”? The usual order of this process is, as it says in Tehillim (34:15), “Turn away from evil and do good,” suggesting that we should first purify ourselves and then we can do good and achieve holiness.

In fact, Chazal compare those who try

We begin the seder with the “kadesh” and then proceed to “urechatz”. Our sages ask: Why do we first sanctify ourselves with “kadesh” and only afterwards purify ourselves with the “washing”? The usual order of this process is, as it says in Tehillim (34:15), “Turn away from evil and do good,” suggesting that we should first purify ourselves and then we can do good and achieve holiness.

In fact, Chazal compare those who try to achieve holiness without purity to “one who immerses with an impure creature in hand.” People like this cannot become pure, no matter how often they immerse themselves, because the source of their impurity is not being released! They must first get rid of the evil, and only then can they pursue their quest for good.

HaGaon HaRav Moshe Feinstein zt”l answers that, unfortunately, many people who perform mitzvos also transgress and do aveiros. It is much easier for such people to engage in the pursuit of holiness than to attempt to get rid of the evil in order to purify themselves. Therefore, we first engage them in “kadesh.” After they have become involved in holiness they are more inclined to be ready for “urechatz – purification.”

We are currently in the midst of an era of spiritual growth. Torah is flourishing, our yeshivos are full, and many lost Jews are returning to the ways of their ancestors.

At the same time, we are faced with the challenge of young boys and girls who have strayed. Getting them to return to Yiddishkeit is a task that must be approached with sensitivity, understanding, and much Siyata D’Shmaya.

This undertaking is often more successful by first encouraging these youngsters who have drifted away from Yiddishkeit to engage in some active mitzvos before they have even “washed themselves” of the aveiros with which they are involved.

Our lives are affected directly by many different factors, some obvious and others obscure. Tefillin are a special sign given to us by Hashem. They make a profound impact on the person and inspire his direction in life. The mezuzos of our house are known to have a lot to do with our mazal and our protection. That is why when things go inexplicably awry, it has been our mesorah over the years to examine the kashrus of our tefillin and mezuzos. Often the exact detail that invalidates the mezuzah or tefillin may directly correspond to the problem at hand.

I once got a call from a Yid who wanted to talk to me about a pressing chinuch issue. When he walked into my office, I could see that he was shattered.

He explained that despite all his efforts and hard work, his seventeen-year-old son was “completely off the derech.” Shabbos and yom tov weren’t any different to the teenager than any of the other days of the week, and the father had no idea where he was spending those days.

“He comes home late at night, and sleeps till noon,” the father continued. “He doesn’t talk to us or to his sisters and brothers. I don’t think he does anything Jewish at all. I can’t make peace with the situation. My own son - my own flesh and blood, whom I raised with such love, is going against everything I live for.”

“Rav Goldwasser,” he cried. “What should I do? What can I tell him?”

I spent a long time with the Yid, offering chizuk and guidance, and mapping out a plan he could follow. I suggested positive steps he could take, things he could say, things he could do. I also told him what not to say and do.

Finally, the man arose, thanked me, and turned to go.

“Can I ask the rav one more question?” he asked. “I’ve been preparing the negel vasser in my house for years,” he said. “Every night, I fill the basins and put them at the foot of every bed, and every morning, I spill out the used negel vasser. It’s my special mitzvah. But my son isn’t washing negel vasser anymore. I feel like a fool preparing it every night - it’s just a waste of time. Should I continue preparing the water, or can I just skip it?”

I understood what he was asking, but I answered, “If you’re asking me, I would continue to fill the negel vasser every evening.”

Three weeks later, the man called to let me know what was going on. He was getting discouraged, so I gave him chizuk, and some new suggestions. Just before he hung up, he asked, “About the negel vasser - do you think that I still need to bring it to his bed? I feel like such a fool every day.” I urged him to continue.

Another month passed, and this time when the Yid called me he could barely speak. He seemed to be crying, choking on his words.

“I listened to you, Rav Goldwasser,” he said. “I listened to you. I filled my son’s negel vasser every day, and emptied it, even though he wasn’t using it. This morning, I went to his room to collect the basin, and he was wearing his tefillin and davening!”

The man continued, “I ran to him, and hugged and kissed him. And I asked him -

‘Tell me, mein kind, what made you put on tefillin today?’

And my son said, ‘I’ll tell you, Totty. It was the negel vasser. You knew I wasn’t using it, and still, you refilled it, every day. I saw that you never lost your faith in me. You made me feel that I shouldn’t lose my faith in the Ribono Shel Olam either.’